ORPHAN IN PLANE AND MOTORBOAT
By: Iris P. Concepcion

I am in the middle island of Cyprus and I just confessed to a motorcycle driver that I am from Switzerland.

(Great opening line for a novel. Ah, all mine.)

Sounds fantastical?

Wait till you hear my actual Almost Famous experience.

Rode in a roller coaster airplane whose pilot hits a twang. I figured it is between a Mediterranean lilt and a Moroccan bongo. Whatever it is, I kept on laughing as my co-passengers coming from Turkey (I do not know; they are loud and proud, mighty and funny as hell. Kewl.) matched the sound system voice. They were bozos but with a right kind of buffoonery. They purposely made the stewardesses uncomfortable with their inane queries.

Everyone just shut up as the plane zigzagged(up, down, up, down) and they were hitting decibel-deafening larynx-volume, taking videos of people and the sky. I guess they were waiting for someone to barf. I was smiling like a rabbit to them and they acknowledged it with a language that only banjo-playing humans CANNOT decode. We are, like, close to bursting our glands but who cares? I am a person; they are persons, and we take the Earth by the neck's grip.

Luckily, I was stifling a yawn thinking, if I weren't such a recluse, I'd be loud like them.

On the ground prior, there was a bomb squad whom I fondly categorize as the burn squad. They sprawled over the alley metropolis in their colloquially-aped attires. Did I tell you, yes, you who reads this, that I love gays? Up in the clouds, superman troop on the loose.

By far, only an orphan like myself can appreciate how these men can totally outclass anyone who stands in their way, performance-wise.

Setting foot on the land, I hopped in a ferry motorboat. The day after, soaked in a beach with all my clothes on since raptures of the Brettian period cornered a cottage and was, gasp! waving his binocs at the Pacific and beyond. So Alex Garland. I was told someone died there. Such suspense and heat.

Anyhow, you prim as a goat's horns, how was your week so far?

P.S.

As if that is not enough, I just passed by a bum with beard who was drawing a totally lurid detail of a man and woman copulating. A bystander watches him, gives in to guffaws like he is just watching a porcupine de-horning himself. I went out; they look like criminals. Hahaha.