By: Iris P. Concepcion
I know for a radiantly blazing fact that everyone loves a winner.
After the rather pffftttt toot on Pacquiao's opponent who did nothing but elongate his biceps, an optical illusion greets me via the faces of people. Behold and dare the butterfly stroke, everyone started to don Pacquiao's wicked moustache. Everyone wants to be him at this moment.
Not privvy to this gentleman's inner workings, I shall, nonetheless, squeak a secret or two why this guy is priceless.
He does not overpower himself. He has an exquisite flair to subjugate himself to rather offending circumstances. He always gives the hardest knock down the finish line.
He also knows his limitations. He sees people without pre-formed prejudice. It requires tact to play a bystander over a throng of buffed loudmouths. He saves the best for last.
How many times had he walked these steps ahead of his opponents by downplaying himself? You go to Cubao and it is all a knocked down ode to the mediocre and the vain in a giant parody of excessive interplays. The fastfood pictures are funny. It is all there, known faces of underground dealings. It is a good educator's place. The aftermath spun of horror and tribulations had already been swum. He had crossed it ahead of everyone.
Now, what to do with someone who owns everything big. You could no longer offer him anything because he has already tasted everything possible: good life, travels and good company.
Using his status to combat poverty, you can be assured he would not use it to mount gay pageants or reproduce identification cards as a world class job. I mean, he hates swimming pools for heaven's sake.
Throw him a lectern, he would still be peaceful as a lamb. He is peerless in biblical swaps. Beware of his words though. He could cut and cut shockingly.
As I said, he is an amalgam of this writer's group. They fix pipes, my Dad hosed down a wall through an advertisement, I saw that they even improvised an ad for a company. I mean, without pay I suppose. They make fun of people with biceps like a series of compiled butts.
They do lines this way:
"It only takes a tree to make a thousand matches, it only takes one march to burn a thousand trees."
On another note, did you see the picture of the President eyeing meticulously a menu in Jakarta as if shocked by his discovery? It is a wild take for the tickled bones.
The journalists and photojournalists alike are gaining humor. I love the transition. It is like Harvard Lampoon. Even the mall voice-overs are a hoot. It irks my ears listening to "hello shoppers, this is your daily blah blah blah". Even the mall assistants were laughing. Perhaps, they should bullhorn the daily horoscope of shoppers next time. Say:
"Good day shoppers. For Tauruseans, you shall buy a marinade sauce for your shrimps at aisle 15 today." I am a sucker for free taste now. They really taste good.
I am watching the drama series too. They are getting more exciting, with acting overdrafts and dubs that make me go..."Whaaaaaaaaa??????" I mean the better other is so good even in bad acting moments. He used his saliva in cleaning his Ray-ban shades. How else can you beat that?
Television these times is getting interesting. Conrad de Quiros should start switching that remote control again. He could buy my brand, Konkan. I think it is made from Cotabato, my home province. Its flat screen set that is normally priced at P30,000.00 is unbelievably lowered to P8,889.00. It is neat (yellow and black, blue colors with neat remote handlers like telephones).
I can furnish a home beautifully even with a budget of P100,00.00 I suppose. Sofa, kitchenware, appliances, curtains, etc. This place is a monstrous haven for great buys.
Please, can we get more Germans in? Technology and design, they are atoning for their History by making the world functional, pretty and darn affordable. Even their bath liquid soaps smell like multiple gardens!