RECALL
By: Iris P. Concepcion

Seems like the messing up of videos by these modifiers continue. The effect is a downturn to things otherwise expected to shoot up. Why are they dropping? Not the pants, nor the lollipops.

Erwin Romulo said it best: "Frigging in the changes". The intent should not be lost to a director's mind delving into the psyche of the obnoxiously prim and the ridiculously proper.

Anyway.

You might find yourself sneaked in one of the paragraphs. You either fornicate or assume it is an apparition blinking like a mirage in front of your face, uttering the eureka realization: that's her line for me?

This writer is against, first and foremost, forced condescension. I was quite alarmed yesterday how to handle a child's prodding to "just take that money inside the bag; you'd get lots of it" kind of lure. I explained that sometimes, things do not work that way. That help does arrive sometimes unwrapped, in surprise gifts, and only when you need it. I do not like to sound like am a monetary prude but I hear myself repeating this over and over again to people who couldn't seem to get it, still. She had already won my trust and ruined it by a sentence. I simply said, you are not going to say that again, would you? The cute kid said, "yes."

I am taking her word for it.

Let us not joke ourselves with masks here, I know who is feeding you, who you are working for, the network dynamics---I could no longer be played by the dissuading factors. I know the people who have the genuine beat and pulse of this country, have it by the gut, chose to work from the downside of things instead of sneaking some items to validate a terrific detour abroad instead of coming up with plans on infrastructure and other uncutesy stuff like that. Connections work and it is laudable if this link is put to productive use instead of strangling women inside a car using a dole-out vehicle.

I do not know why in almost two or three years that I was feeling my way inside writing circles before, I did not strike any personal connection with any of these groups save for two fellows. I blame it on my lack of expertise (social manners) on that aspect. They do not seem to like circulating around people under them (just an impression) save for the top man who was genuinely humble. I survived an earthquake in that office. When I reconnected, it was with a librarian whom I still call Manang up to this day.

When I started writing this blog, that is when the real "community of writers" took its own dome-like dimension. Whoever invented this site is one sick of a genuine bastard for annihilating the obvious writing divide in one click. It is handy for me to explain now when someone asks, what do you do?

"Oh, read my blog" is my paltry reply.

It diminished my propensity to yack about my life when the proper bolts are plugged in. I was spoken to in hush like nobody should come near me for being too weird or different: I do not know their life under the circumstances then. It baffled me why such mongering should ensue. Realistically, if I am drawn to people in meteorological wavelength, so to speak, it is not because of their assent to my words. It is that common respect for the craft: craft of creating, craft of thinking; craft of living. I disagree with a lot of people I admire but I could not disagree with their precise turn of a semi-colon erupting like a blooming flower out of nowhere in their lines.

It is my blessing that the people I am deeply in Yoda conversations now had been with me all throughout. Yes, they talk to the littlest janitor--different surroundings but you get the drill. That is perhaps the reason why my comfort is just within that kind of sphere. Little things do imprint in a psychological, flashback manner.

Once, I was given siopao by a CEO as my "baon". I yelled one time about my Disney plate getting lost somewhere and did my routinary dissing. This CEO asked me why I am in a sour mood and I told him the reason. He paused and said in jest :

"Don't worry Iris, I'll get you one," just to shut me up.

He also took the bother one time to remind me that I am wearing my dress on the wrong side, in a whisper, so as not to embarrass me. I said, "that's the style".

Sometimes, you meet people this way and those little reminders get stuck inside your head for years to come. The operative word here is having taken a small route to make you feel important as to give persons a small pep talk. Yes, he falls in line and we are wondering why he still does that.

Everyone has flaws, sure. One time or another, you find yourself disagreeing with them but you can never fault good counsel when it arises.

What is my point? It appalls me to hear people treat me as if I belong when I truly am not one of them (that is just okay). I'd rather I am told to and yanked for the right reason than being praised for the worst cause. I do not question their purpose, we are all about inclusive existence.

Sincerity though, could never be bought. A good deed always goes a long way and I somehow remember that whenever I find myself questioning the ways of the world.

In a recall mood, I suddenly remember these things in slow motion.