AND THEY JUST KEEP ON GETTING FUNNIER AND FUNNIER DAILY
By: Iris P. Concepcion

http://www.noynoy.ph/blog/2010/04/17/magsaysays-endorse-team-aquino-roxas/

Something is going right when even the hare-lipped defend you, even in a muffled "****hole!"

I now live with a kid whose face is ridiculously pretty (she looks like a French moviestar) you could put icing on top of it. She did not talk for two days. On the third day, I got my vocal treat: Her voice resembled the horror flick Exorcist's Linda Blair.

God does not create perfect things. He created imperfect things so we never get tired in pursuing an ideal perfectness.

("Shut up, Mom!" retard son implores. He hates it when I write like a lame spiritual guru. Son knows he is loved, especially when he is adored for his spunky works).

I am still at it, lead stories that in one paper says: "Election automation going on smoothly" while the other one highlighted a minor glitch as major.

Did the pilot test succeed? I think it did. It is not faith. It is a belief backed up by real, functional work.

I, too, am in a quandary how to change the mindset of this kind of Apocalypse posturing without mouthing the freaky, freaky word.

Finally, a writer did the obvious and it worked perfectly well for my own comprehension, being a fellow combatant in this galaxy of Venus de Milos.

Zafra, thus asked legislator Locsin (main proponent of the automated polls) in this manner:

Z: Are we ready for the elections?

L: Yes. The 38 million ballots have been printed, everything is ready. I have advised the COMELEC not to be ready, Because if they're too ready, the critics will complain that they're too ready. (See? Sounds like Yoda).

Z: It's like the menu is in front of them and they are rethinking their order. Do you think being ahead in the alphabetical order will matter?

L: I think that's rather an insult. The people actually go down the list. Since there was no party list in their ballots, they averaged two minutes each.

Z: How come only HK and Singapore are getting automated polls?

L: They are the two largest voting populations abroad. The last place you want to send the PCOS machines is the U.S. Filipino-Americans don't vote. (I slice off the other sentences because the parody might completely be lost to the sensitive and could hurt their ego). In the United States, the estimated voting population is two million Filipinos. (I again omit some of the sentences since the satire is already hard to bear).

Z: How about brownouts?

L: The brownouts will get worse because that's the deliberate policy of NAPOCOR in order to fix the plants in time for election day. The machines have uniterrupted power supplies that kick in when there's a brownout. (I am briefed on this by a politician I never expected to elucidate me on this aspect; thank you for the tutoring; they cut it but I got the message).

Z: Okay, the voting machines may work but it could be dark in the precinct.

L: It's daytime. (Hehehehehe--me)

Z:There could be an eclipse.

L: Two things can happen. A meteor of a sufficiently large size strikes the earth, or a major earthquake. People might not vote if there's an intensity 11 earthquake.

Z: They might not.

L: The people who are afraid of the automated elections are making preparations as intricate as for manual counts. I believe this will be a royal waste of time.

I end the excised interview from here.

The point is---------when we are moving forward so we can say "Hi!" to George Lucas without being bummed with : "You still do that?" (referring to election results lasting over a year), then what the heck, let us just all move forward!

I kind of like the idea of shading circles, like a drawing book. It is a great shape--like an eye! Fast with thought, another writer said, his gay son could like it so much he might place beside his favorite candidate's name a smiley icon.

Actually, the Q and A brings to mind an interview I did with Fletch where the interviewee blurted: " And yes, he guns down anyone who goes near his girlfriend" talking to J. Carrey or whoever. It was laughable.

Or his panacea to conclusion : "Di nga pumasa sa kanya yung pagka ubod ng guapo na si Diether Ocampo e..." followed by a sly laugh.

Yes, we talk like this and from out of the sky, a dome's head appears and everyone goes "A dome!!!!!!!!!!"

And we go: "Yes, that's a dome you pervert!"

And we went home merrily.

P.S.

Would you really apply in an org with an email address of egg_hrd@yahoo.com? Hahahahahaha. They offer cooking lessons there. How to crack an egg. Kind of hard to beat it, right? try it.