WHILE WALKING UNDER THE RAIL
By: Iris P. Concepcion

A Chinese teenager once approached me while I was paddling my feet under the LRT train station and posed me a query:

"How do I get to Intramuros?"

She spoke in good English. I directed her to various options. Riding a public vehicle or scour the place by foot.

I asked her where she is from. She replied that she is from China.

"Mainland?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied.

I wondered why she could understand me very well. It turned out she is educated in an International School where the English subject is taught.

I was at that point contemplating to pitch the beauty of the city but was afraid of the garbage that might not have been picked still along the way. There is no pedestrian lane in front of MET theater to cross the pretty landscape on the other side of the road.

I advised her to walk so she could pass by the Post Office and its newly erected fountain. To this writer, it is one of this country's most beautiful edifices.

I asked where she had been to in the Philippines. She told me she had been to Boracay. I told her to visit Luneta. She had, in fact, and to my delight and glee, found it beautiful.

Yesterday, I revisited the place asked for. I went to Intramuros just in case I die and resurrect as a tourist guide.

They (I know that the President is stern in having all the government agencies coalesce in promoting and pursuing projects) had improved, in a subtle way, this remarkable place of history.

I walked and found funny the clean eateries on the foyers. They are immaculate and their servings of food are chopped hugely. Their fishes outrebound their plates. Their fishes are sticking out from the soup bowls. Their fins are immense.

I walked and found myself in Anda Street where I saw the huge billboard of:

"Ang Hero Ko 150 na!"

It trumpets Rizal's Bagumbayan Light and Sound Museum. Behind it is a curious sight, in front of Colegio de Isabel. There is a hotel-like house (massive and sprawling) with a tourist bus parked in front of it. It says: "Welcome Ghost Soldiers." Then came a "karitela", this famous carriage driven by a horse with a Caucasian and his Filipino friend riding it.

I overheard the tour guide saying: "That is the oldest Catholic church in the Philippines." It looked like an abandoned and bombed out building. I saw the Caucasian train his lens instead to a resort-like hut in front of the what looks like a huge trade center.

I would like to write Eminem and his alter ego, Stan, at this point:

Dear Stan,


Why is this huge closet being cleaned up in Intramuros?"

Yours faithfully,
Rice Field

Armed with my new aesthetics, I entered the store called the "The Papier Tole Shop."

It has a Universal Studio production clapper. It is small but packed. Aside from being a janitress in my favorite airport (NAIA-3) and being a staff in this curious mall, I would like to be this store's resident vendor if only to dispose with profit its great output.

Ladies and Gentlemen, in case you are wondering what the corn kids had been tinkering with, you can buy their wares here.

They still place the souvenir items of the Quiapo variety. Those "buri" made handicrafts that run to thousands. They improved on the craft though.

Gift wraps are made into beautifully drawn jewelry boxes (4 for P100) and intricately astounding 2011 calendar with drawings of Intramuros places (P241). It is the best piece: haunting, classic, worldclass, Filipino. This goes on with a variety of products: notepads (3 for P100) and diaries (P200).

The pencilled sketches are magnificent and are, simply, splendid. When a gaggle of Caucasians entered and were eyeing the overdone wood necklaces, earrings and dilapidated coin purses, I wanted to shout at them and say "Errrrr, errrr, errrr are the better buys!"

If coin purses are your thing, buy those that are arranged behind a Japanese wrestler. It is authentic Philippines and is a steal at P120 per pack (4 pieces).

For the piece de resistance: A Rubik's cube type of design for the whole Intramuros landscape.

Breathtaking. Each rubik piece costs P150. I beat the vendor/tour connoisseur and hastily multiplied the whole diorama. 13 x 4 = 52. Using the calculator, the whole beautiful sight costs P7,800.00

There is a painting using the gift wrap. Delicately sketched: dainty, Filipino, new. P11,000.00 but worth the tag.

I pity the "buri" letter and bill ornament that is quite overpriced at P160. A Caucasian woman said laughingly: "That is so.........(name of a person)."

It did not help my already excited self that a Japanese-looking wrestler announced: "Hinahanap ka na ni Apeng Daldal."

Readers, it is a happy, happy, wonderful, wonderful place.

I then went inside Barbara's, a restaurant that also houses the White Knight nook of paintings. This building also includes Islas de Oro Travel and Tours. There is an exhibit by an artist named Dan Libor. His painting of a prisoner breaking out from a jail in a suitcase is such a classic. The colors are telling.

I passed by the "yeah, yeah" paintings but got stuck with this enormous, definitely the crown of the canvass universe. Titled "Tambuli" by the fabulous artist Matt Garcia, it is an oil painting of a clown wrestling with animals, horses, men with horns.

A clown!

And the canvass itself is like a Dave Eggers book, a variety of which you can also find at the Papier store. It looks like a torn door. The guide told me: "That is done in fiberglass."

I almost peed. My eyes do not deserve this kind of magic. It is obviously a superior, superior play of color, atrophy, comedy, horror, shock, triumph and the hidden divine power of the brush.

The guide then directed me to some sketches in black done "on the spot." After the clown, my hormones and aesthetic orgasm are so spent already I could no longer curse at the decrepit counterpart drawings.

The artists, huddling in one corner, eating biscuits, knew I had been happy. They told me "Thank you for visiting," although the reverse is truer.

They are cool, old, peppery chaps who love pranks like this writer.

I got hungry and went inside a Richman's carenderia. His meal tasted good as his looks. San Juan de Letran and San Beda are schools that I would love to walk around next time. From afar, Letran looks like a towering palace.

I caught the :10 movie afterwards. I was laughing at an otherwise somber flick. It stars Eric Bana and is titled "Time Traveller's Wife". It does not make sense except the word "travel". Even the foetus baby is travelling, according to the on-the-spot dialogue.

The better other is good at these dubs so stay away from his mike.

I was laughing my butt off as I remember scenes spliced from a multitude of movies viewed in the past.

This, I spent for less thanP100, while walking under the rail, in full blown sun, as I saw Jim Carrey being carried in a stretcher, thirsty as camel.

He should walk faster because this is simply put, MY domain.

And father: I am recruiting them, the affinity. I am winning them over to my side. Wink. Between us, I am starting to like their stories.



She spoke in good English.