SELLING THE PHILIPPINES
By: Iris P. Concepcion

I recently got a lot of brochures about film making in this country.

I had expressed my gratitude for a small coterie of ragtag megmen who had reality-based stories spanning the best places in the world: they had been shown in several select theaters. I had reviewed them opulently here, yesterday being the latest. Someone tried to cannibalize these materials but the weirder men of the universe saved the day eventually.

I do not know how to react to this notebook-like selling of the country. It has headings like "More About The Archipelago". The pictures on it are manned by just one network: I could not understand why places instead of creative people are highlighted though. Directors' Profiles with small clips of their amazing shots would be more apt (for collaborative work) perhaps, and so on and so forth.

Sample of the pitch:

"Philippines, the newly emerged Mecca for independent films......."

Another two:

"Filipino cinema is definitely one of the most exciting in Southeast Asia."

"Philippines is a good filmmaking destination...Filipinos have a strong edge in making films not only because of their proficiency in English, but also because they have stories to tell; stories with heart that will touch the international audience."

It extremely bothered me that people shall blow millions if not billions for sentences like this one while I struggle with my words for a penny. Either we do hire the best pitchmen in this side of the world or we are merely snobbish of better outputs.

Sad to say, the kids with me threw it out and told me things only I must know. I think they know better than myself.

I also think it is not a badge to berate people based on perceived longetivity in any industry. We just need to embrace those on the outside looking in and perhaps, outputs shall be well-executed. Steering our country into the map of well, excellence, is a bitch but we do need to find the hugest bitch to implement it and we need newness, not rehashed themes, to pursue this.

I am not picking on the sentences, they are properly formed.

But since this is a filmmaking pitch, luring all creative people to come here and invest in well, doing scripts and the like, requires more than this little crap of juicy output. We really do need some refurbishing and it does not start with false arrogance. It does not go anywhere except bruised egos and useless crying. Never be dissuaded by the kick: everyone's trying to help if you are not just too haughty about it.

Nah. Definitely not my better other's output. He has a more circusmpect manner of building his slogans. I am a recipient of his affectionate words: they are tacky at times but they never lack originality. Lately, he misconstrues drinking a morning staple as "pampalakas for future fights." It is hilarious and ridiculous but that is how you shoot ideas from down under.

Shall we settle then for this superiority, this world class selling of our nation, of putting our country on the line for more creative investments?

The director I wrote about underneath has a mouthful to explain about this whole set-up but despite the meagerness of technology, he puts out nuggets of film wildness quite competently. It is a troubling if not disturbing commentary on anything, from brassieres to civic work. I buy it because he used his art unsparingly as the primary medium.

I need words that would make my back head twirl in disbelief I suppose. In a nook where I eat my usual fare of the tummy, I saw this in a stall:

"Egg Delicious. More Vitamins! Packed With Zinc And Bhythfbnsnaska!" (not exactly this but you know how it is improved daily).

It is weird since it merely sells squid balls. But I definitely love the performing words wearing ballerinas and tutus in this exemplary manner of shelling your money. I mean, I'd buy not because of the squid but for the artisan who had thought of this terrible but beautiful tagline.