By: Iris P. Concepcion
"God will make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see. He will make a way for me."- Moen
I have morphed versions of my sole nephew but mine, the authentic one with questions like "what does that word mean? It is deep," while his friends advise: "Just google it" kind of reply------while he was still bunking at a southern pink room used to room my mother, gave me these marvels of attitude I now recall with amusement and hilarity:
1.) He has this huge winter jacket too big for his size that terribly smells.
2.) He does not use pillow cases and just spends time putting his head on the cushion without let up.
3.) He has this most annoying laugh in this whole freaking universe.
4.)He gets exasperated when I am "bopol" (dumb) with computer functions.
5.) He once wore a flaring orange brief that he does not wash in say, two days.
6.) He was so aghast with my urinal chamber one time that he scrubbed it with a cleanser and told me NOT to use rusty cooking pots as urinal repository.
7.) He loves to bully people in the streets with his talking snot (he talks as if he always had colds)
8.) He loves to eat and spend money on the loose and advised me to live each day as if it is the end.
9.) He plays in the tiled floor with the youngest playing horsey and one time I just yelled on top of my lungs : " STOP THAT!!!!!!!!"
10.) He protects me in a weird, terrible, warped, irksome but genuine way.
11.) Be very afraid of his laughter. It kills.
12.) He is a star material. Totally.
13.) I always leave him or drop him off somewhere but he gets to keep the telephone, always.
Many have claimed I am their Tita (that is just okay with me but do not go dangling on me the loot for a changed choice, it just wouldn't work) but this one's a basic magnet for affection. He likes the Pyramid song and that explains everything.
I have been losing pages of my daily newspaper readings lately. And curiously, it always had to do something with old ladies. One scolded me for borrowing hers; the next old lady borrowed mine and returned it headless (front pages were missing). The third one just made a Houdini, she sat beside me and presumably swept the inside pages while I wasn't looking. She wore a duster. I think I knew the reason why she did that as I read for free, from a side corner vendor, the vanishing pages.
I kind of like the way some of these millions of parents shield me, albeit in a weird, intrusive ways sometimes. They are my obnoxious lienages who warn me of impending dooms and catastrophes of massive proportions while I eat. They are fierce people prowling on the waves with:
"HOY DADI WANT U 2 GO HOM TO D DORM CUZ BAD PEOPLE IN A BUKOL CONTEST WILL MAKE SWIPE UR HAIR OR SAMTING SO HOY, DADI WANT U 2 SLIP!"
Tado could not have said it any BETTER. If you need to explain a joke, talk to these people. They'll drive you nuts.
P.S. The annoying voice is here again. Brrrrrrr.